So what do I think about Vietnam? Good question. What can you say about a place where:
a) you have to say "no thank-you" to about three thousand people within a walking distance of 1km?
b) people generally like to stare at you, laugh at you (plunking your big Amazon self onto one of the little itty-bitty makeshift restaurant chairs) and grope your freakishly white arms/face/thights?
c) people are always looking for a way to extract more money out of you and generally rip you off?
d) your tour guides whom you paid a substantial amount of money steal two iPods from the group and turn particularly venomous when the victims of the theft demand them back?
e) drivers of buses, cars and motorbikes lay on their horns all the time?
f) you get robbed walking down the street?
Let me be honest. If I had written this blog about two hours ago, it would have been a pretty negative one. I should mention that I was fresh off yet another overnight bus of which the driver honked his horn consistently and stopped for four "dinner" breaks between the hours of 11:00pm and 4:00am. This is not the first bus I've been on like this. Then at 6:00am when we were pulling into what was supposed to be Saigon, for those who hadn't been awoken by the horns blaring, he blasted Vietnamese love ballads. Like loud. Anyway, I was told that I would arrive in Saigon this morning, but it was Nha Trang. The tour guide said, "No, no, Saigon another 10 hours away." So I've been bumming around Nha Trang all day waiting for another overnighter tonight (cause I paid for a sleeper bus...may as well save myself a night's accommodation, yeah?), exhausted and with no place to go but the beach. The beach would be nice if Vietnamese dudes didn't come and plunk down next to me and start touching this alabaster skin (and by the way, I have a tan right now....by my standards...) that they can't get enough of. And asking me questions. And asking me to buy stuff. And when I say no, asking me for kisses. If any of this rings familiar, it's because this is just like Italy/Greece/Turkey. Only this time I'm really trying not to get defensive right off the bat, and there's a lot more touching. Anyway, it felt like there was no escape, so up until about a couple hours ago, I was fed up with Vietnam and feeling so ready to be home that I was working myself up quite the Pity Party.
And then I went back to the beach, for lack of anything better to do. And I was harassed by another Vietnamese dude who squeezed my thigh muscles and said, "Yes, athlete" and wanted to give me a massage that worked its way from 100,000 dong to FREE. Of course, I still declined, and he eventually left. And then someone else dropped herself into the sand next to me, and saved this blog from being a particularly negative one (OK, I admit that this blog hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows...). I won't even try to spell her name here, but she was a 21-year-old Vietnamese girl and after about 20 minutes I realized that she legitimately didn't want to sell me anything. She was just (from what I gather) a marine biology (???) student who is also studying English and goes to the beach each evening to find a "foreign girl" to practice her English with. So we chatted for over an hour, and she was such a sweetheart, asking me about Canada, telling me about Vietnam, etc. And she reminded me that aside from the ones with dollar signs in their eyes (and there are billions of them), Vietnamese people are by and large quite lovely. I've given a few impromptu English lessons while I've been here, including with the girl who runs the shop in Hoi An where I had my boots made. She was one of the people who loves to grope me, and it wasn't quite as irritating with her, because I really don't believe she was hitting on me or trying to pickpocket me. I was wearing short shorts and a tank top and I think she legitimately was fascinated by the length of my legs and the paleness of my skin. Kate, my partner in crime for much of Vietnam, thought it was pretty hilarious cause this girl literally couldn't keep her hands off me. She sat in my lap, rubbed my thighs, hugged me, held my hand, the whole nine...It was a little strange at times (the hands on my bare thighs felt a little wrong) but she was a sweetheart. And there have generally been a lot of really friendly (well, not so friendly) people around. Unfortunately, it's just those few bad seeds...
Par example, on our Halong Bay tour...I don't think I can really get into the whole story except to say first and foremost that I was on a boat with a baker's dozen Irishmen, a few Brits, and a couple of Aussies, all of whom history has shown even the most venerable of Canadian livers has difficulty keeping up with. And this group was definitely no exception. I don't know where they get the energy or the tolerance, but they put me to shame. Anyway, our first night on the boat, three iPods were left on the deck next to the crew's iPod speakers. The music (randomly, Whitney Houston...) was shut off at 4:00am, and everything was fine. Then the next morning, the rather sour barmaid accused the crew of breaking the speakers and demanded a rather outlandish sum to replace them. The people who'd left their iPods were instantly suspicious and demanded their iPods back. The barmaid kept insisting that she had no iPods, she had no iPods until things got increasingly heated and she miraculously produced one iPod from her pocket. Everything escalated until everyone was shouting (actually, I wasn't. I was nursing a hangover and staying out of it...but it definitely killed the mood for everyone). One iPod was found, but the other never was and it all resulted in all our bags getting searched and then the personal baggage and private cabins of the entire crew getting searched when the boat reached the shore. The tour guide, who'd previously been really funny and likeable, at first was trying to mediate between the crew and the passengers, but got pretty nasty in the end when the accusations started flying. It just left a bad taste in everyone's mouth, you know? I'm not going to get into the details of the rest of the weekend, but it was a really fun group and good times and after three nights with them, I am still recovering...I met up with some of them, in particular Kate, again in Hoi An, which was great. It was back to that Lao feeling of knowing people everywhere you go...
So after what one of the Irish dudes labelled iPodGate '08, I already had a bad taste in my mouth...and then I got my bag stolen. I will give details of that later on, but will say that my passport and wallet were thankfully not in the bag in question. It's funny, cause since that happened, my stamina has just been gone. I don't feel that upset, but since it happened, I've just been positively exhausted and feel really vulnerable to all the touts and their entreaties to give me their money in one way shape or form. I'm a bit done, is all.
Which is good, I suppose, since I have only a few days to go. Every time I start feeling okay with leaving, I remind myself that in one week's time, I will be in the dead of winter on the Prairies. And the fact that I'm still somewhat cool with that makes me think that I really am spent.
One more blog to come!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
On Top of the World and Away From It All
So I've finally found the one place in Southeast Asia that has no 7-11s, travel agencies, internet cafes, or tuk tuk drivers. All you have to do is get yourself to Huey Xai, Laos, take a very bumpy 2.5-hour off-road ride into Bokeo Nature Reserve, hike for ~1-2 hours, and zipline into peace and solitude. Honestly, our treehouse (Treehouse #1) was exactly what I had hoped my treehouse in Turkey was going to look like, only better. It was three split levels (a girl from Tahoe, Sarah, and I got the "penthouse") built around a many-pronged big old tree. I can't say how high we were, but I believe our guide something like 80 metres? We weren't in the highest one, but the views were unreal (wait for the pictures...they're coming shortly), particularly in the morning, when mist filled the dips and valleys and a guide would zipline in with our hot breakfast. You showered in one corner with a full view out two sides of it all (and, I guess, a full view in for anyone happening to be zipping by...not likely, since there are only 12 people and a few guides out there and any one time). My powers of description are failing me here, and I'm going to have to let the pictures and video tell the story.
The ziplining was incredibly scary at first--some of the cables were as high as 150 metres and as long as 380 metres--but it didn't take long to put our faith in our equipment and just go for it. By the third day, we were zipping around without guides and without fear (well, with some fear. I still checked my equipment about four times before I let go each time). Our guides were awesome, but a little lax and a little lazy. You'd ask them to check if something was okay, and they would say without looking, "Yeah, is okay, is okay." The Gibbon Experience founder, who's French, apparently started to project (the only one of its kind in Laos, it saves the land on which it is built from being cleared and/or developed) with the intention of turning it over to the Lao people. It's been 14 years and he hasn't done so yet, and it's not difficult to see why. Still, our guides were a lot of fun, and our equipment never did let us down.
I'll admit that I wasn't completely recovered from my illness while I was up there. I threw up the morning we left and the hiking did not help. I was gasping for air at times, dizzy pretty much constantly (I imagine the elevation didn't help), and nauseous for much of the three days. Let's just say that if survival of the fittest were at play and someone were going to get attacked and dragged off by tigers, bears or cannibalistic hilltribes, it would have most definitely have been me. But honestly, I don't think I could have enjoyed it more if I had been well. Adrenaline is a powerful, powerful drug, and as sick as I felt on certain of the big climbs, the minute my caribiner and safety cord were attached and I was flying high above the trees, I felt like a million bucks.
Unfortunately, the adrenaline couldn't help with the one small issue that was the rat infestation in our treehouse. At night, we were in beds under canvas tent-like structures hangnig suspended above our beds, but the tent was chewed through in places and we had all heard stories of rats chewing their way into beds and bags (it happened to the people in one of the other treehouses in our group). It was full-on creepy at night because you could hear them all around your bed, and I was full-on paranoid by the second night. I listened to my iPod so I didn't have to hear them, but then I got paranoid about what I wasn't hearing. In the end, as far as I know no rats so far as attempted to get in my tent, and Kristin, your bag is intact.
So sadly I'm back on solid ground now. We didn't end up seeing any gibbons, but we heard them "singing" in the morning. I kind of respect how shy the gibbons are, compared to the attention-whore monkeys of Thailand. They're not there to perform for us and we're not there to feed them or tease them. It felt like the most natural animal-related experience that I've had in Asia. All in all, the whole thing was magic. I burnt my right cheekbone and left ear (two separate, somewhat foolish incidents) on the cable when I was attempting to zip and take pictures at the same time. I think the cheek burn looks kind of badass (and you know how hard I strive to look badass). There was some suggestion among the girls in my treehouse that it might scar, but so what if it does? I'll have a permanent souvenir of one of the coolest three days of my life...
The ziplining was incredibly scary at first--some of the cables were as high as 150 metres and as long as 380 metres--but it didn't take long to put our faith in our equipment and just go for it. By the third day, we were zipping around without guides and without fear (well, with some fear. I still checked my equipment about four times before I let go each time). Our guides were awesome, but a little lax and a little lazy. You'd ask them to check if something was okay, and they would say without looking, "Yeah, is okay, is okay." The Gibbon Experience founder, who's French, apparently started to project (the only one of its kind in Laos, it saves the land on which it is built from being cleared and/or developed) with the intention of turning it over to the Lao people. It's been 14 years and he hasn't done so yet, and it's not difficult to see why. Still, our guides were a lot of fun, and our equipment never did let us down.
I'll admit that I wasn't completely recovered from my illness while I was up there. I threw up the morning we left and the hiking did not help. I was gasping for air at times, dizzy pretty much constantly (I imagine the elevation didn't help), and nauseous for much of the three days. Let's just say that if survival of the fittest were at play and someone were going to get attacked and dragged off by tigers, bears or cannibalistic hilltribes, it would have most definitely have been me. But honestly, I don't think I could have enjoyed it more if I had been well. Adrenaline is a powerful, powerful drug, and as sick as I felt on certain of the big climbs, the minute my caribiner and safety cord were attached and I was flying high above the trees, I felt like a million bucks.
Unfortunately, the adrenaline couldn't help with the one small issue that was the rat infestation in our treehouse. At night, we were in beds under canvas tent-like structures hangnig suspended above our beds, but the tent was chewed through in places and we had all heard stories of rats chewing their way into beds and bags (it happened to the people in one of the other treehouses in our group). It was full-on creepy at night because you could hear them all around your bed, and I was full-on paranoid by the second night. I listened to my iPod so I didn't have to hear them, but then I got paranoid about what I wasn't hearing. In the end, as far as I know no rats so far as attempted to get in my tent, and Kristin, your bag is intact.
So sadly I'm back on solid ground now. We didn't end up seeing any gibbons, but we heard them "singing" in the morning. I kind of respect how shy the gibbons are, compared to the attention-whore monkeys of Thailand. They're not there to perform for us and we're not there to feed them or tease them. It felt like the most natural animal-related experience that I've had in Asia. All in all, the whole thing was magic. I burnt my right cheekbone and left ear (two separate, somewhat foolish incidents) on the cable when I was attempting to zip and take pictures at the same time. I think the cheek burn looks kind of badass (and you know how hard I strive to look badass). There was some suggestion among the girls in my treehouse that it might scar, but so what if it does? I'll have a permanent souvenir of one of the coolest three days of my life...
Not that I'm homesick, but...***
...I would give my left arm right about now for the following things:
1) a scorchingly hot shower. With pressure. In which I don't feel compelled to wear flip flops. That has walls and is not in the immediate vicinity of the toilet.
2) A bed. With some give. With little to no chance of a bed bug infestation. With sheets with no questionable spots, stains, etc. In a room outside of which there are no:
a) roosters (you think that our little farmyard friends cockle-doodle-doo just once at sunrise? Wrong. They start at about 4:00 am and keep going for hours.
b) monks beating drums, chanting, or singing. You know I love the monks--I really do, probably more than is appropriate--but for the love of god (Buddha, I guess), can't you collect your food at 9:00am???
3) Some clothes that are not the clothes in my (Kristin's) pack at present. A whole new wardrobe, actually, would be nice. I would buy some stuff, but this whole Asian "one size fits all" thing doesn't really work for "Amazons" like me.
4) Some nachos (our nachos), some red wine (Cab Sauv or Cab Franc would be awesome, but beggars can't be choosers right?), some tuna tataki and a yam roll, some beef tenderloin with sauteed mushrooms and garlic mashed potatos. The food I'm not quite so desperate for, cause the food here is fantastic. I'm just a little bit over rice at the moment and if I'm giving my left arm for this stuff, I think I deserve some great food.
I am truly having an awesome time and I don't want to wish my trip away--the end is coming so quickly already!!--but it's been a bit tougher since separating from Kaje and it doesn't help that I've been terribly, violently ill for the last couple days. I switched over to Thai malaria pills (at my doctor's suggestion) and the first one I took made me really sick. So naturally a good bed and a better shower would be much appreciated. I am beginning to feel much better, which is good, because I'm about to go trekking deep into the jungle for the Gibbon Experience. More on that in a few days. If you don't hear from me in a while, I've fallen from a 150 metre-high zipline and impaled myself on a tree. On that note...until next time...
***okay, so this post was actually written a few days ago, but the internet cut out right as I was publishing...so that's the autosave, a few days late. Don't quite achieve the ominous ending I was going for there, now that you know I'm back safely, but ah well, you're getting two blogs for the price of one.
1) a scorchingly hot shower. With pressure. In which I don't feel compelled to wear flip flops. That has walls and is not in the immediate vicinity of the toilet.
2) A bed. With some give. With little to no chance of a bed bug infestation. With sheets with no questionable spots, stains, etc. In a room outside of which there are no:
a) roosters (you think that our little farmyard friends cockle-doodle-doo just once at sunrise? Wrong. They start at about 4:00 am and keep going for hours.
b) monks beating drums, chanting, or singing. You know I love the monks--I really do, probably more than is appropriate--but for the love of god (Buddha, I guess), can't you collect your food at 9:00am???
3) Some clothes that are not the clothes in my (Kristin's) pack at present. A whole new wardrobe, actually, would be nice. I would buy some stuff, but this whole Asian "one size fits all" thing doesn't really work for "Amazons" like me.
4) Some nachos (our nachos), some red wine (Cab Sauv or Cab Franc would be awesome, but beggars can't be choosers right?), some tuna tataki and a yam roll, some beef tenderloin with sauteed mushrooms and garlic mashed potatos. The food I'm not quite so desperate for, cause the food here is fantastic. I'm just a little bit over rice at the moment and if I'm giving my left arm for this stuff, I think I deserve some great food.
I am truly having an awesome time and I don't want to wish my trip away--the end is coming so quickly already!!--but it's been a bit tougher since separating from Kaje and it doesn't help that I've been terribly, violently ill for the last couple days. I switched over to Thai malaria pills (at my doctor's suggestion) and the first one I took made me really sick. So naturally a good bed and a better shower would be much appreciated. I am beginning to feel much better, which is good, because I'm about to go trekking deep into the jungle for the Gibbon Experience. More on that in a few days. If you don't hear from me in a while, I've fallen from a 150 metre-high zipline and impaled myself on a tree. On that note...until next time...
***okay, so this post was actually written a few days ago, but the internet cut out right as I was publishing...so that's the autosave, a few days late. Don't quite achieve the ominous ending I was going for there, now that you know I'm back safely, but ah well, you're getting two blogs for the price of one.
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